My Christmas-Card-Only Friend

We have a friend whose trajectory in life seems to always be on a steady incline which never dips. Some years ago, he criticized my husband and me because our plotline was, at that point, tanking.

This was less than encouraging. It didn't make us feel good. We didn't like it. So, with no further ado, we slid him over to the ‘Christmas Card Only' friendship category-meaning, he gets no more and no less than one contact a year from us. And it's about that time.

But I'm rethinking this. We live in a consumer oriented world. Relationships are like deodorant. If performance dips, we cross that brand off our list and shop for an upgrade. Reconciliation isn't something we work very hard at, and at the rate of one Christmas card per year, it won't happen on its own.

Dialing this guy's number wouldn't play prelude to a cozy, fireside, Christmas moment for me. The idea makes my stomach churn. But such a call would represent the first Christmas well. Lying in scratchy hay amid bleating animals wasn't cozy either. But my Jesus lavishly spent his comfort on reconciliation. Now, he motions for me to come and taste the joy of reconciliation... at Christmas.

Posted: Dec 16 2009, 11:58 AM by Shannon | with 5 comment(s) |

Filed under: Jesus, Relationship, Christmas, Friendship, Reconciliation

Comments

Jo said:

I'm so glad I read this today. I am in a funk about a recently (last night) damaged relationship with a family member /sigh. was wondering how awkward it could get, trying to relegate them to the christmas-card-only side of life. Thank you for the encouragement to do the hard stuff and work through it!

# December 16, 2009 9:55 AM

Shannon said:

Jo, I'm so thankful this encouraged you! I meant to post it a while ago, but maybe God rescheduled it for after last night??

I've been really encouraged (convicted!) by Colossians 3:12-17 recently. I've been trying on each of the individual words to see how they fit. Many are waaaaay too snug, but I'm motivated to 'work out' my faith. Maybe they'd help direct your thoughts today, too?

I prayed for you just now.

# December 16, 2009 2:13 PM

Demetria Friberg said:

Oh, Shannon...life is so hard isn't it. I am so glad that I have an example of Jesus to follow and I am so glad to have you as a neighbor, sister in Christ, and a more than Christmas card only friend. I wish your family peace and joy during this season.

# December 17, 2009 2:48 PM

The Farmer's Wife said:

I'm not trying to be the devil's advocate here, so bear with me as I fumblingly try to say something!

There are some friendships that should be distanced. I tried, under some pressure, to reconcile with a friend that I had let ease onto the Christmas-Card-only list. It soon became apparent why I'd let the friendship go into a sort of dormancy! And it wasn't a really great thing for those who were pressuring me to do it.

Here's the point of that whole paragraph: sometimes certain relationships "stink", to use your deodorant illustration...sort of. I'll always love my friend, but right now, I can't trust her, so we are best as Christmas card friends.

Hmmm....that was longer than I wanted, but you get the idea.

# December 17, 2009 3:07 PM

Demetria, I am blessed to have you as my neighbor and friend, too. And you reminded me! I need to put you on my Christmas card list!!

Farmer's Wife, ABSOLUTELY! Thanks for adding that to balance out what I said.

I once had a friend say (not with this wording:) that she wanted to be one of my closest friends. I talked to my pastor about this because I felt so conflicted. He warned me to guard very carefully whom I allow access to my inner heart.

And (like Demetria said) Jesus modeled this very thing. He chose his closest friends, and did not reconcile with the Pharisees. He even said to shake off dust from 'stinky' towns!

Relationships require so much wisdom, don't they? God bless.

# December 17, 2009 8:24 PM